So you have attempted to provide a nurturing environment, set up good examples, and encouraged leadership qualities in your children.

Whether you are a teacher, parent, or other type of caregiver, you have probably heard about the importance of instilling leadership. But how? What skills? Following is a basic list of leadership skills you can teach kids. They are not numbered because each is equally important.

INDEPENDENT THINKING

Help your child break out of a “cookie cutter” mindset by teaching him/her to think independently. Ask for your child’s opinions on many different subjects, without judging or stating your opinion. Be open-minded. Listen so that no opinion is “wrong” or valueless. You might then share your own opinion respectfully, and if it differs, that’s okay – part of independent thinking is hearing many sides of an issue and coming to your own conclusions.

RESPONSIBILITY

Age-appropriate responsibilities are important stepping stones on the ladder of skills necessary for building leadership. Give your child responsibilities as preschoolers, and have him deal with the consequences if those responsibilities are not met. Of course, your child will require guidance; but once your explain what the consequences will be, it’s best to let them play out.

FAIRNESS

Leaders need to be fair and just. Being too rigid and unbending is not the best way to teach your kids about fairness, but being too permissive encourages a child to put himself first. Help them to understand what is fair and what isn’t, and how sometimes being fair means being firm even when your child or others might get upset.

NEGOTIATION

Have you thought about the importance of negotiation skills in leadership? Leaders understand the necessity for give and take and that often means compromise, Think about it: government leaders, particularly the president, need to be well-versed in the art of negotiation. It’s okay to discuss your child’s wants and desires. – Allow your children to present a convincing argument as to why they think they should have whatever it is, or participate in an activity. Be prepared to allow yourself to be “talked into” something now and then!

ORGANIZATION

Being organized is essential to good leadership. Teach your children how to prioritize tasks and organize their time. Explain how to use calendars to keep things straight, and show how time can be organized in different ways when prioritizing tasks.

Children need to be taught how to organize priorities in terms of immediate and future goals. In the category of organization is also the concept of making lists. Have your children make lists of what tasks they plan to complete each day and then in one week. This also helps break tasks down into steps – maybe your child has a book report or research paper due one or two weeks from now. Helping your child break that down into weekly and daily steps can be useful- not only in accomplishing the completing of the task, but also in instilling the leadership skill of organization.

COMMUNICATION

This is a vital skill for leadership. Leaders must express their goals and their vision for whatever project or task they are leading or coordinating. They can’t expect others to read their minds or carry out instructions without direction. Teach your kids good communication and listening skills by encouraging them to share their thoughts even if you disagree, and by actively listening yourself. Both you and your child will be happier and more successful.

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How to Lead Teens

Leading teens is different than leading children and older adults. Your role is to guide them into maturity and teach them how to manage adult responsibilities. Teens can handle more responsibilities and understand what’s expected.

But many older adults are intimidated to lead teens since they have a reputation for being rebellious. What if they won’t listen? What if they ignore your advice and “walk all over you”?

Here are some tips that may help you to lead teens.

The Right Attitude

It’s important to respect a teen’s place in the leadership process. (This is important with all ages, but teens are more aware of their own independence.) Remember that you can’t be a leader without followers! The teens have to be there for the leadership to happen.

Respect

Respecting those you lead is important. Teens probably won’t respond well to just being given orders. One way you can show your respect to the youths under your care is to listen to them. Really hear them, and respond respectfully to what they say. This proves your respect for them, In addition, it also sets a respectful tone in your group. When you do this, you’re leading by example.

Insist on Respectful Behavior

Because you’re modeling it, this shouldn’t be difficult to enforce. Ask that your teens treat each other with respect, and you can set yourself up as an example.

Be “Real”

Teens have a nose for sniffing out when something or someone is faking it. The teens in your charge don’t really expect perfection. They would prefer to interact with someone whose flaws they can identify with than someone distant and unfamiliar. Make sure to guard against hypocrisy. It’s fine to be genuine and share that you used to be a smoker or drinker while telling your teens not to smoke or drink, but if you are still smoking, your words will ring hollow and fake.

The Importance of a Good Relationship

Leading teens means assuming the role of a mentor and adviser. Mentoring means setting up an environment where learning takes place. Always set aside a time for teaching and answering questions. To form an effective leadership relationship with teens, it’s critical to know when to step back and let the teen try on his or her own and when to step in. If you develop a good relationship with your teens, then you will likely know them well enough to have figured out when to get involved and when to back off.

MAYBE ONE STEP BACKWARD…. MY APOLOGIES!

My computer crashed and I have been down 2 1/1 days. So this post and everything else is late!

Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive in School, Sports, and Life

Written by Dr. Kate Lund

The primary focus in this book is to teach parents, teachers, and community leaders how to foster resilience in the early stages in life so that children can develop their full potential. Children need to learn how to bounce back from misfortune and adversity in order to continue to move forward and ultimately achieve maximum potential. Young people must develop a tool box of coping skills to manage their frustrations and emotions. Lund presents seven pillars including navigating friendships and social pressures, sustaining focus and attention skills, developing courage, the motivation to succeed, and a spirit of confidence that will lead to optimism and continued forward momentum.

The author bases her book on her own personal experiences in overcoming challenges and studies of elementary school children as a psychologist for the past fifteen years. Lund includes a short autobiography and a list of resources for further study at the conclusion of her book. I would recommend this book to parents and teachers as well as anyone interested in developing the full potential of society’s future leaders.

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Leadership Lessons Learned from Mom

Written by Mark Villareal

An interesting book that discusses qualities of leadership by correlating them with lessons that the author learned from his mother. The author begins the book in early childhood when his mother guided him to listen to the little voice in his head whenever he needed to decide whether something was right or wrong. She taught him not to be a loner, and to push himself to become involved. Villareal explains how his mother encouraged him to dream big and reach for the top while teaching him to understand not everyone will get the trophy. As he grew older, she taught him not to exclude others, be a good example, and avoid taking shortcuts to success. The author learned to stand up for himself when he believed that he was right, but to learn the difference between having pride and being too full of pride. Life will not always be convenient and be accommodating, we must learn to accept defeat graciously at times, then pick ourselves up to try harder next time.

These are all valuable lessons in developing leadership. Rather than learning these skills by reading a leadership training manual, Villareal tells a charming story that entertains and inspires. Unfortunately, not all children grow up in an environment with parents who make the effort to teach and model these values. Recommended for young adult and adult audiences.

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WHO IS A LEADER: A mindful approach for family and classroom discussions

Written by Kristil L. Kremers

The author is a college teacher who has spent many years researching emotional intelligence, ethics and mindfulness in leadership. In this short book she manages to produce a comprehensive guide and discussion on the subject for children in the elementary grades. The colorful multicultural graphics are simple and the text is appropriate for early readers.

Kremers begins with a definition of leadership. A leader looks at the outside universe but knows we must look inside first and follow our heart. The leader never leaves the heart at home and acknowledges responsibility for herself and others. A boss is not the same as a leader because a leader connects with her team before correcting them. The leader creates a culture where team members can feel safe, respected, happy, and successful. Leaders bring out the best in others and support members in success and failure. Any person can become a leader when making a good decision that allows others to join in their project.

Next the author names leaders children might be familiar with: parents, teachers, and preachers. She uses the leadership profiles of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Theresa, and Dr. Neil De Grasse Tyson as biographical examples.

At the end of the book there are three separate discussion guides for families, kids, and classroom. The questions within these can be modified or adapted depending on the age of participants. This forty page book provides a mini management training seminar for children and boosts self esteem. Recommended especially for children ages six through ten.

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