Posts tagged ‘loneliness’

DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE A KID AGAIN?

Contents

Introduction. 3

Why Do Adults Give up on Being Playful?. 5

The Top 10 Fears That Hold Adults Back. 6

Conclusion. 9

Introduction

This adulting thing can be hard, very hard. That’s true whether you’re raising a family or just yourself. In some cases, we were warned by our parents. For the most part, though, becoming an adult looked amazing, with little to no downside.

As a child, you saw your parents doing what you thought was whatever they liked. Little did you know that their efforts were driven by a desire for you to have the best possible life. While that was the case, all you saw were people who got to stay up late and make the rules.

Wouldn’t that be awesome when you were finally able to do it? It’s something you begin to look forward to … growing up.

Your parents and other grown-ups jumped into their cars whenever they wanted and drove anywhere. They could go shopping or to a restaurant. They always had money to buy things. You never had money and certainly weren’t able to drive a car.

That desire for adult-like independence was the reason you couldn’t wait to learn to ride a bicycle. You felt like a grown-up because you had a sense of being able to get up and go and explore. You could jump on your bike and take off! The end of the block, or “just down the road,” felt like it was a million miles away. This was, to you, your first taste of grown-up freedom.

Fast-forward a few years, and you’re leaving high school. You’ve heard as long as you remember that you can become whatever you want to become. You can’t wait to officially enter adulthood. It’s going to be so sweet!

Then you get out on your own at 18 or 20, or 25 years of age. What are all these responsibilities? There’s so much to do. Where is all the freedom and independence you thought your parents had when you were a kid? Why is life so tough?

Then the truth of the situation hits you. This grown-up thing isn’t very fun, and being a kid definitely was.

Why Do Adults Give up on Being Playful?

Ask any grown-up if they have enough leisure time, and they’ll look at you like you’re speaking a language from another planet. Of course, they don’t have enough time to do what they want? Why ask such a crazy question?

There’s never enough time for fun and playful activities. Only the independently wealthy can truly enjoy their lives, spending as much time as possible doing what they want rather than what they have to do.

That’s the number one reason grown-ups will give you if you ask why they don’t spend more time on enjoyable activities. They’ll tell you their job, family responsibilities, social commitments, and other “have to do” activities keep them from having any downtime. They have to be serious 24/7. There simply isn’t any time for humor and fun, and play.

Then there’s the fact that adults constantly worry.

Kids don’t. A child just does what he does for the sake of doing it. He’s not too concerned about consequences. He chases a butterfly or goes out of his way to splash in a rain puddle just because. It’s fun. So he does it.

The Top 10 Fears That Hold Adults Back

What is it that adults worry about most of the time? According to Inc. Magazine, in a blog post titled “The Top 10 Fears That Hold People Back in Life, According to a Psychotherapist”, here’s what your adult mind is stressing over most of the time. (They are listed in no particular order.)

  1. Change (Good or Bad)
  2. Being Lonely
  3. Failing
  4. Being Rejected
  5. Uncertainty
  6. The Results Are Going to Be Bad
  7. Being Hurt
  8. Judgment
  9. Feelings of Inadequacy
  10.  A Loss of Freedom

As an adult, you need to understand that change is inevitable. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes bad, but it is guaranteed to happen. Many changes are out of your control. Instead of worrying and fretting over change coming into your life and wreaking havoc, accept that it will appear and stop stressing about it.

If you worry about being lonely, guess what’s going to happen? We often create self-fulfilling prophecies. This means that concerning yourself with loneliness can lead to that reality. The fear of loneliness can also keep you in less than healthy relationships rather than going it alone.

Look, everyone hates failing. Sometimes we adults would rather simply not try because we’re scared of what will happen if we fail. This mindset will always fill you with stress and anxiety, which means less fun and happiness in your life.

Adults are constantly worried about being rejected in relationships and on the job. They don’t attempt new things or reach out to connect with others because they’re uncertain about what’s going to happen. The result could be bad.

Adults fear getting their feelings hurt, especially by loved ones. If they reach out to others for a little fun or just less seriousness, what if they’re judged poorly? They might feel inadequate to those around them.

Finally, adults are often fearful of a loss of freedom. Be careful that this doesn’t lead you into a bad situation. Someone who embraces freedom may avoid getting a steady job, which can lead to financial issues.

If these and other grown-up worries are constantly rolling around in your head, force yourself to take a break. Call your friends for a night out on the town. Take a walk, cycle with your BFF, or watch a funny movie.

Play, laugh, and smile like a child again. Enjoying the present moment without expectations can help remove yourself from these bothersome adult worries that can cause physical and mental stress.

You Probably Have More Free Time Than You Think You Do

By the way, the common excuse that adults don’t have much free time for playing around and goofing off might not be correct. Consider this.

  • NBC News reported in September of 2021 that the “… sweet spot for free time is about 3 or 3.5 hours per day.”
  • Life satisfaction was at its highest when people “had in the neighborhood of 2.5 hours of free time a day.”

[American Psychology Association – Having Too Little or Too Much Time Is Linked to Lower Subjective Well-Being – Sharif, Mogilner, Hershfield]

Adults will tell you they don’t have anywhere near that amount of free time. They might agree that they would have a much better life if they could enjoy their hobbies or other playful activities for a few hours each day. As it turns out, most adult Americans have more free time than they think they do (or will admit to having).

As reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), research from doctors Roland Sturm, Ph.D., and Deborah A Cohen, MD, reveals that you might have more leisure time than you realize. Here’s one big takeaway from that study.

  • “Americans averaged more than 5 hours of free time per day; no subgroup reported having less than 4.5 hours of free time per day.”

[Sturm R, Cohen, DA – Free Time and Physical Activity among Americans 15 Years or Older: Cross-Sectional Analysis of the American Time Use Survey]

Notice that no subset of the data had less than 4.5 hours of free time each day. This means people in their late teen years and twenties, thirties and forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, and older all had a minimum of 4.5 hours of leisure time.

Conclusion

Take an honest look at your life. How many 10 or 15 or 20-minute blocks of free time do you have? You don’t have to have fun in large doses. You can fill those small sections of your day with playtime and laughter rather than worry and stress.

We know that engaging in fun and enjoyable activities just for the sake of the activity itself, not for a specific result or achievement, is a great stress reliever. It can also put your life in perspective and help you learn not to take life too seriously all of the time.

It means that adults, including you, probably have a good bit of time to stop and smell the roses.

Prioritize play in your life. You never know when your number will be called, so why not have some fun? You know how good you feel when you laugh and smile. Schedule time for those activities that put a smile on your face. Hang out with that friend that makes you laugh.

Go out of your way to schedule more play and less seriousness. You can live a happier, healthier, and longer life. You can also find a lot more appreciation of your life, yourself, and the people in it.

Here’s to you smiling and laughing more and stressing out less.

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WHAT HAPPENED TO HAVING FUN IN LIFE?

CONTENTS

Introduction

Why Do Adults Give up on Being Playful?

The Top 10 Fears That Hold Adults Back

Conclusion

INTRODUCTION

This adulting thing can be hard, very hard. That’s true whether you’re raising a family or just yourself. In some cases, we were warned by our parents. For the most part, though, becoming an adult looked amazing, with little to no downside.

As a child, you saw your parents doing what you thought was whatever they liked. Little did you know that their efforts were driven by a desire for you to have the best possible life. While that was the case, all you saw were people who got to stay up late and make the rules.

Wouldn’t that be awesome when you were finally able to do it? It’s something you begin to look forward to … growing up.

Your parents and other grown-ups jumped into their cars whenever they wanted and drove anywhere. They could go shopping or to a restaurant. They always had money to buy things. You never had money and certainly weren’t able to drive a car.

That desire for adult-like independence was the reason you couldn’t wait to learn to ride a bicycle. You felt like a grown-up because you had a sense of being able to get up and go and explore. You could jump on your bike and take off! The end of the block, or “just down the road,” felt like it was a million miles away. This was, to you, your first taste of grown-up freedom.

Fast-forward a few years, and you’re leaving high school. You’ve heard as long as you remember that you can become whatever you want to become. You can’t wait to officially enter adulthood. It’s going to be so sweet! Then you get out on your own at 18 or 20, or 25 years of age. What are all these responsibilities? There’s so much to do. Where is all the freedom and independence you thought your parents had when you were a kid? Why is life so tough?

Then the truth of the situation hits you. This grown-up thing isn’t very fun, and being a kid definitely was.

Why Do Adults Give up on Being Playful?

Ask any grown-up if they have enough leisure time, and they’ll look at you like you’re speaking a language from another planet. Of course, they don’t have enough time to do what they want? Why ask such a crazy question?

There’s never enough time for fun and playful activities. Only the independently wealthy can truly enjoy their lives, spending as much time as possible doing what they want rather than what they have to do.

That’s the number one reason grown-ups will give you if you ask why they don’t spend more time on enjoyable activities. They’ll tell you their job, family responsibilities, social commitments, and other “have to do” activities keep them from having any downtime. They have to be serious 24/7. There simply isn’t any time for humor and fun, and play.

Then there’s the fact that adults constantly worry.

Kids don’t. A child just does what he does for the sake of doing it. He’s not too concerned about consequences. He chases a butterfly or goes out of his way to splash in a rain puddle just because. It’s fun. So he does it.

The Top 10 Fears That Hold Adults Back

What is it that adults worry about most of the time? According to Inc. Magazine, in a blog post titled “The Top 10 Fears That Hold People Back in Life, According to a Psychotherapist”, here’s what your adult mind is stressing over most of the time. (They are listed in no particular order.)

  1. Change (Good or Bad)
  2. Being Lonely
  3. Failing
  4. Being Rejected
  5. Uncertainty
  6. The Results Are Going to Be Bad
  7. Being Hurt
  8. Judgment
  9. Feelings of Inadequacy
  10. A Loss of Freedom

As an adult, you need to understand that change is inevitable. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes bad, but it is guaranteed to happen. Many changes are out of your control. Instead of worrying and fretting over change coming into your life and wreaking havoc, accept that it will appear and stop stressing about it.

If you worry about being lonely, guess what’s going to happen? We often create self-fulfilling prophecies. This means that concerning yourself with loneliness can lead to that reality. The fear of loneliness can also keep you in less than healthy relationships rather than going it alone.

Look, everyone hates failing. Sometimes we adults would rather simply not try because we’re scared of what will happen if we fail. This mindset will always fill you with stress and anxiety, which means less fun and happiness in your life.

Adults are constantly worried about being rejected in relationships and on the job. They don’t attempt new things or reach out to connect with others because they’re uncertain about what’s going to happen. The result could be bad.

Adults fear getting their feelings hurt, especially by loved ones. If they reach out to others for a little fun or just less seriousness, what if they’re judged poorly? They might feel inadequate to those around them.

Finally, adults are often fearful of a loss of freedom. Be careful that this doesn’t lead you into a bad situation. Someone who embraces freedom may avoid getting a steady job, which can lead to financial issues.

If these and other grown-up worries are constantly rolling around in your head, force yourself to take a break. Call your friends for a night out on the town. Take a walk, cycle with your BFF, or watch a funny movie.

Play, laugh, and smile like a child again. Enjoying the present moment without expectations can help remove yourself from these bothersome adult worries that can cause physical and mental stress.

You Probably Have More Free Time Than You Think You Do

By the way, the common excuse that adults don’t have much free time for playing around and goofing off might not be correct. Consider this.

NBC News reported in September of 2021 that the “… sweet spot for free time is about 3 or 3.5 hours per day.”

Life satisfaction was at its highest when people “had in the neighborhood of 2.5 hours of free time a day.”

[American Psychology Association – Having Too Little or Too Much Time Is Linked to Lower Subjective Well-Being – Sharif, Mogilner, Hershfield]

Adults will tell you they don’t have anywhere near that amount of free time. They might agree that they would have a much better life if they could enjoy their hobbies or other playful activities for a few hours each day. As it turns out, most adult Americans have more free time than they think they do (or will admit to having).

As reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), research from doctors Roland Sturm, Ph.D., and Deborah A Cohen, MD, reveals that you might have more leisure time than you realize. Here’s one big takeaway from that study.

  • “Americans averaged more than 5 hours of free time per day; no subgroup reported having less than 4.5 hours of free time per day.”

[Sturm R, Cohen, DA – Free Time and Physical Activity among Americans 15 Years or Older: Cross-Sectional Analysis of the American Time Use Survey]

No subset of the data had less than 4.5 hours of free time each day. This means people in their late teen years and twenties, thirties and forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, and older all had a minimum of 4.5 hours of leisure time.

CONCLUSION

Take an honest look at your life. How many 10 or 15 or 20-minute blocks of free time do you have? You don’t have to have fun in large doses. You can fill those small sections of your day with playtime and laughter rather than worry and stress.

We know that engaging in fun and enjoyable activities just for the sake of the activity itself, not for a specific result or achievement, is a great stress reliever. It can also put your life in perspective and help you learn not to take life too seriously all of the time.

It means that adults, including you, probably have a good bit of time to stop and smell the roses.

Prioritize play in your life. You never know when your number will be called, so why not have some fun? You know how good you feel when you laugh and smile. Schedule time for those activities that put a smile on your face. Hang out with that friend that makes you laugh.

Go out of your way to schedule more play and less seriousness. You can live a happier, healthier, and longer life. You can also find a lot more appreciation of your life, yourself, and the people in it.

Here’s to you smiling and laughing more and stressing out less.

FUN IN THE SUN

Charlotte-Solana and the Sun (Charlotte’s stories series)

Written by Silvia Tabor

Illustrated by Dorina Casapu

Charlotte’s second name is Solana, which means the sun. A good match because the sun is her best friend. Every day, her first move is to open the curtains and greet her friend.

Charlotte teaches her primary grade readers that the sun is a star, there are eight planets orbiting around it, and she introduces the dwarf planets as well. She is delighted where her parents allow her to plant sunflower seeds. Charlotte reasons that these plants could become friends for the sun, who must be lonely out there by itself.

This book contains vibrant illustrations that pop off the page to attract young readers to its message.

Recommended especially for ages four through seven.

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Warning
Warning
Warning.

BROKEN BUT NOT FORLON

Miranda, Queen of Broken Toys

Written an Illustrated by Andrea Tripke

Miranda grew up in an ordinary town, but her temperament was different from most children. While her friends discarded toys that were broken or in which they lost interest, Miranda collected and cherished these toys. Her friends thought her strange. Soon they abandoned her. So Miranda ventured far away, and became the Queen of Broken Toys. She lived a lonely life until one day a boy who had lost a toy came to her castle. An incident changes the lives of both.

The soft pastel illustrations are appealing and appropriate to the mood of the tale. Elementary school readers can learn many lessons from Miranda. I am sure many children will empathize with her.

A charming, quick read for children of all ages. It might inspire a few to take better care of their toys.

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DRESSING UP THE STARS virtual book tour and giveaway #dressingupthestars

In partnership with The Children’s Book Review and Jeanne Walker Harvey.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Dressing Up the Stars: The Story of Movie Costume Designer Edith Head

Written by Jeanne Walker Harvey

Illustrated by Diana Toledano

Ages 3-8 | 40 Pages

Publisher: Beach Lane Books | ISBN-13: 9781534451056

About the Book: Discover the true story of how a shy miner’s daughter became one of the most legendary costume designers in Hollywood in this inspiring nonfiction picture book biography.

As a child in the small mining town of Searchlight, Nevada, Edith Head had few friends and spent most of her time dressing up her toys and pets and even wild animals using fabric scraps. She always knew she wanted to move somewhere full of people and excitement. She set her sights on Hollywood and talked her way into a job sketching costumes for a movie studio.

Did she know how to draw or sew costumes? No. But that didn’t stop her!

Edith taught herself and tirelessly worked her way up until she was dressing some of the biggest stars of the day, from Audrey Hepburn to Grace Kelly to Ginger Rogers. She became the first woman to head a major Hollywood movie studio costume department and went on to win eight Academy Awards for best costume design—and she defined the style of an era.

PURCHASE LINKS

Amazon

Bookshop.org

Barnes and Noble

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jeanne Walker Harvey studied literature and psychology at Stanford University and has worn many job hats, ranging from being a roller coaster ride operator to an attorney, a middle school language arts teacher, and a long-time docent for school groups at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. She is the author of several books for young readers, including the picture book biographies Dressing up the Stars: The Story of Movie Costume Designer Edith Head, Ablaze with Color: A Story of Painter Alma Thomas, and Maya Lin: Artist-Architect of Light and Lines. Jeanne lives in Northern California.

Visit her online at www.jeanneharvey.com.

ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR

Diana Toledano is an illustrator, writer, and educator. She is also a Pisces who loves children’s books, patterns, and dancing her heart out. Originally from Spain, Diana (pronounced the Spanish way: dee-ah-na) grew up in Madrid where she studied art history and illustration. Now she lives in San Francisco with her husband and two fluffy cats. Her mixed media art seeks to capture the magic of the ordinary. Diana’s product designs, picture books, board books, and chapter books have been published and sold all over the world. Diana also teaches workshops for kids and adults. She enjoys doing school visits and speaking at conferences.

Learn more at Diana-Toledano.com.

My Review of This Book:

FASHION SAVY

Dressing Up the Stars

Written by Jeanne Harvey Walker

Illustrated by Diana Toledano

This is a beautifully illustrated picture book that relates the biography of Edith Head, the famous Hollywood costume designer.

Edith seemed an unlikely candidate for such a career. She grew up in isolated mining towns in the desert; her father worked as a mining engineer. Edith grew up with few friends, so she dressed up pets and invented make-believe friends with scraps of fabric. When she moved to Searchlight, Nevada, Edith created costumes for her two girlfriends.

Life changed when her mother sent her to high school in Los Angeles. There she fell in love with the movies. After attending college, she got a job drawing costumes. At first, she failed, but Edith worked hard until she became an Academy Award winning costume designer.

Edith provides a strong female role model for young girls everywhere, proving to them that through arduous work, determination, and perseverance, anyone can achieve a dream.

I would highly recommend this gorgeous picture book for primary grade readers, especially those interested in fashion design and the movies.

GIVEAWAY

Enter for a chance to win a set of five copies of Dressing Up the Stars: The Story of Movie Costume Designer Edith Head!

Five (5) winners receive:

A set of five copies of Dressing Up the Stars: The Story of Movie Costume Designer Edith Head

Click on the link below to enter the giveaway.

https://gleam.io/dtTDP/dressing-up-the-stars-book-giveaway

TOUR SCHEDULE

Monday, August 15, 2022The Children’s Book ReviewA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Tuesday, August 16, 2022BookoholicmomA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Wednesday, August 17, 2022The Fairview ReviewA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Thursday, August 18, 2022The Review WireA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Friday, August 19, 2022J.R.s Book ReviewsA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Monday, August 22, 2022Dad SuggestsA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Tuesday, August 23, 2022icefairy’s Treasure ChestA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Wednesday, August 24, 2022Writer with WanderlustA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Thursday, August 25, 2022Me Two BooksA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Friday, August 26, 2022The Momma SpotA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Monday, August 29, 2022Because I Said SoA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Tuesday, August 30, 2022Some the WiserA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Wednesday, August 31, 2022Barbara Ann MojicaA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Thursday, September 1, 2022Heart to HeartA book review of Dressing Up the Stars
Friday, September 2, 2022Satisfaction for Insatiable ReadersA book review of Dressing Up the Stars

#Hunting for a Good Friend

My Friend Moose’r McDan

Written by Sky Danley

Illustrated by Alli Coate

A bear is out hunting in the woods when he comes across a moose who is smiling from ear to ear. The bear is puzzled by this moose, Moose’r McDan, who requests his friendship.  The hunter decides to think about this and puts his gun aside. Will the hunter and the hunted become friends? Is it possible to turn potential enemies into friends?

This delightful picture book contains charming, colorful illustrations and rhyming text in bold text that is easy on the eyes of young readers. Recommended especially for preschoolers and kindergarten readers but also a fun read-aloud for beginning readers.

I received an advance review copy of this book from the publisher and voluntarily decided to read and review with my honest opinions.

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ME TOO !

Wally Raccoon’s Farmyard Olympics Team Sports

Written by Leela Hope

 

Wally Raccoon hears a loud noise; he discovers that the animals on the farm are holding a Farmyard Olympics. Eager to join in the fun, Wally attempts to join the basketball and volleyball team. He is rebuffed and informed that there is no room for him. Wally is sad and disconsolate until Danny the Deer finds a solution to Wally’s dilemma.

There are four lines of rhyming text and an accompanying illustration on each spread. At times the rhyme seems a bit forced and unnatural. There are also a few editing errors. On the other hand, the book has value for young children who have experienced being left out and lonely. Recommended for children in the three to six age group.

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THREE TECHIE FRIENDS

Ai and Big City Adventure: New Age Pinocchio, Adventures of Ai, his new friends, and Old Man in the Big City

Written by Olga Go

 

Old Man Steve lives by himself in a small apartment in New York City and often feels lonely. One day he finds a smartphone and decides to try to fix it. He names the phone Ai. Suddenly, the phone comes to life. The next day, Ai leaves the apartment while Steve is sleeping. He plays in the park with a computer, a camera, and an i pad. They exchange information with each other. The new friends hatch a scheme to sell Ai to get some money. Ai is sold to Jack, but Ai feels guilty about leaving his friend Steve. They arrive at a compromise that makes everyone happy.

This story is a clever 21St Century Pinocchio story. The illustrations are modern, crisp, and colorful. Elementary school children will enjoy the clever characters and empathize with Steve’s plight. My only recommendation would be to make the print text bolder as it is sometimes difficult to read when placed against the illustrations.

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SCAREDY CAT

A VERY SCARY PUMPKIN

Written by Jeff Minich

Illustrated by Renee Garcia

Book Three in the Nuggies series featuring Chomper and Coco, who are dog and cat friends. Moving day is here, but when the family arrives at their new home, it turns out to be an old, scary hours that is haunted by a pumpkin. The pumpkin does not want the new owners, so she tries mightily to scare them all away. She even locks daddy out of the house, while she imprisons Coco and Chomper.

One night Chomper and Coco discover the true identity of the ghost and realize she is not scary, but really very lonely. How will the three resolve their issues? Will the family be able to settle peacefully in their new home?

This picture book is well laid out and attractively illustrated. I would caution reading it as a bedtime story for children who have nightmares, but it makes a good Halloween read aloud or book for classroom discussion. Especially recommended for children in the three to six age bracket.

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WHERE IS THAT REMOTE?

Conspirators of the Lost Sock and the Loose Change Collection Agency

Written by Dan O’Brien

Illustrated by Steve Ferchaud

conspiratorspic

Labeled as a Fantasy Noir by the author this short tale of less than fifty pages contains interesting characters and an engaging plot. Robert Pendleton is an elderly man who apparently lives alone. Upon waking up from his customary long sleep, he is annoyed to discover that he cannot find his remote control. He bends over, smashing a lamp in the process. Robert gets down on his knees and discovers a leprechaun standing at the back of his couch. Colin McMasters is in charge of the Loose Change Collection Agency. He has come to enlist Robert’s help to defeat a malevolent creature known as The Scourge. He is the leader of a sock army of soldiers harassing the community of leprechauns.

Robert cannot believe he is taking this tale seriously, but he agrees to enter the fantasy world through a broken washing machine. He is amazed to discover that Colin is telling the truth. Will Robert succeed in his mission to defeat the invaders and then find his way back home to his world.

Targeted for ages six through eighteen, the length of this book suggests it could be appropriate for younger readers. The charming black and white pencil illustrations aptly portray the characters, and the dialogue is fun to read. On the other hand, there are some challenging words like acerbic, undulating and gargantuan that might discourage readers under age ten. Definitely not a bedtime story, but certainly a creative and well-written tale that provides an interesting discussion topic.

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