“Is Your Child Struggling in School? Here’s How to Start the Conversation With the Teacher.”
When Your Child Learns Differently, You Don’t Have to Navigate It Alone
Every child learns in their own unique way. Some children may need extra time, different strategies, additional support, or simply a teacher who understands how they learn best. As a parent, recognizing that your child may be struggling can bring a mix of questions, concerns, and uncertainty—especially when you’re not sure what to say or where to begin.
The good news is that you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
As a New York State-certified Special Education and Nursery through 12th Grade educator, I know how important the partnership between parents and teachers can be. Open, respectful communication can help everyone better understand a child’s strengths, challenges, and individual learning needs.
In this article, I’m sharing practical tips to help parents feel more prepared and confident when talking with their child’s teacher about learning differences. I’ve also included helpful guidance from Understood.org, a valuable resource for parents and educators supporting children who learn and think differently.
Remember: asking questions is not being difficult, and advocating for your child is not being demanding. It is being an important part of your child’s educational team.
The goal isn’t to find someone to blame. It’s to build a partnership that helps your child feel understood, supported, and capable of succeeding.
How to talk to your child’s teacher
about learning differences and ADHD
Teachers can be a big source of support for struggling students and their families. Use this
discussion guide to help raise your concerns and talk about how you can work together.
What’s inside
- General tips
- If you don’t know why your child is struggling
- If your child has a diagnosis
- More resources
General tips
You may not be sure what to say about your child’s challenges, and that’s OK. Take a deep
breath, and remember that the teacher is there to support your child. Here are some tips
to help get ready for the conversation. - Make an appointment.
You don’t have to wait until parent-teacher conferences to talk with your child’s teacher.
But remember that teachers’ workdays are jam-packed. Ask to schedule a 15- to 20-minute
appointment, either in person or by phone or videoconference. Be sure to thank the teacher
for their time and support — gratitude can help build the relationship. - Prepare what you want to say.
When you meet with the teacher, be clear and specific. Spend some time before the
meeting to plan what you want to say and ask. Try writing your ideas down, recording
voice notes, or practicing with a friend. Focus on these key areas ahead of time:
- Challenges you want to talk about
- Strengths or interests that can help your child complete tasks
- Responses you can use if the teacher says something you weren’t expecting or
that heightens your emotions. For example, you can say, “Let me think about that and
get back to you.”
Be open to working together.
A strong partnership with teachers can have a positive impact on your child.
Keep in mind that successful partnerships are built on mutual respect. If you’ve had
bad experiences at school, you might have trouble trusting that things will go well.
You can ask for the meeting to include a staff member you know well or a family member
or friend who can help you go into this conversation with an open mind.
Prepare yourself emotionally.
Talking about your child’s challenges can bring up strong emotions. It helps to practice
what you want to say in advance. During the conversation, you can take a deep breath
or refer to your notes if you need to pause and steady yourself.
Follow up after the meeting.
Send a thank-you email for taking the time to meet. Summarize what you talked
about and any next steps you agreed on. Make a plan for checking in again by
suggesting a date or timeframe. Talking regularly can help you build the relationship.
You don’t need to wait until there’s something specific to talk about.
If you don’t know why your child is struggling
Talking with your child’s teacher is a great first step in getting answers and finding the
right support. Planning ahead can help make the conversation go smoothly.
Ask for a time to talk
by phone, by email, or
in person.
“Hi. I’m the [parent or caregiver of X]. I’ve noticed my child is
having challenges with [reading, math, paying attention, etc.].
I’d like to set up a time to talk about it.”
Start by explaining
your purpose.
“Thanks for meeting with me. I’d like your help understanding
some challenges my child is having with….”
Share some details about
what you’ve noticed.
“This tends to happen [when, where, and how often].”
“I started noticing this [how long ago].”
Share strategies you’ve
tried at home.
“I’ve tried [which strategy], and that has helped [a little/a lot/
not at all].”
Ask for input. “Is this something you’ve noticed too?”
“Any strategies you use at school that might help at home?”
“Do you think I should talk to the school counselor about my
child’s challenges?”
Talk about next steps. “Thanks for your time. Let’s talk again after I’ve had a chance
to try some of your suggestions. What timeframe feels
reasonable for us to check in?”
After the meeting
Tips What you can say
Follow up with a
thank-you email.
“Thanks so much for your help. Can we check in after I’ve had
time to think about this and talk about what happens next?
How about we check in two weeks from now?”
Remember, You are not alone, and you can have a productive conversation with your child’s teacher.
September 18, 2026
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