WHAT HAPPENED TO HAVING FUN IN LIFE?
CONTENTS
Why Do Adults Give up on Being Playful?
The Top 10 Fears That Hold Adults Back
INTRODUCTION
This adulting thing can be hard, very hard. That’s true whether you’re raising a family or just yourself. In some cases, we were warned by our parents. For the most part, though, becoming an adult looked amazing, with little to no downside.
As a child, you saw your parents doing what you thought was whatever they liked. Little did you know that their efforts were driven by a desire for you to have the best possible life. While that was the case, all you saw were people who got to stay up late and make the rules.
Wouldn’t that be awesome when you were finally able to do it? It’s something you begin to look forward to … growing up.
Your parents and other grown-ups jumped into their cars whenever they wanted and drove anywhere. They could go shopping or to a restaurant. They always had money to buy things. You never had money and certainly weren’t able to drive a car.
That desire for adult-like independence was the reason you couldn’t wait to learn to ride a bicycle. You felt like a grown-up because you had a sense of being able to get up and go and explore. You could jump on your bike and take off! The end of the block, or “just down the road,” felt like it was a million miles away. This was, to you, your first taste of grown-up freedom.
Fast-forward a few years, and you’re leaving high school. You’ve heard as long as you remember that you can become whatever you want to become. You can’t wait to officially enter adulthood. It’s going to be so sweet! Then you get out on your own at 18 or 20, or 25 years of age. What are all these responsibilities? There’s so much to do. Where is all the freedom and independence you thought your parents had when you were a kid? Why is life so tough?
Then the truth of the situation hits you. This grown-up thing isn’t very fun, and being a kid definitely was.
Why Do Adults Give up on Being Playful?
Ask any grown-up if they have enough leisure time, and they’ll look at you like you’re speaking a language from another planet. Of course, they don’t have enough time to do what they want? Why ask such a crazy question?
There’s never enough time for fun and playful activities. Only the independently wealthy can truly enjoy their lives, spending as much time as possible doing what they want rather than what they have to do.
That’s the number one reason grown-ups will give you if you ask why they don’t spend more time on enjoyable activities. They’ll tell you their job, family responsibilities, social commitments, and other “have to do” activities keep them from having any downtime. They have to be serious 24/7. There simply isn’t any time for humor and fun, and play.
Then there’s the fact that adults constantly worry.
Kids don’t. A child just does what he does for the sake of doing it. He’s not too concerned about consequences. He chases a butterfly or goes out of his way to splash in a rain puddle just because. It’s fun. So he does it.
The Top 10 Fears That Hold Adults Back
What is it that adults worry about most of the time? According to Inc. Magazine, in a blog post titled “The Top 10 Fears That Hold People Back in Life, According to a Psychotherapist”, here’s what your adult mind is stressing over most of the time. (They are listed in no particular order.)
- Change (Good or Bad)
- Being Lonely
- Failing
- Being Rejected
- Uncertainty
- The Results Are Going to Be Bad
- Being Hurt
- Judgment
- Feelings of Inadequacy
- A Loss of Freedom
As an adult, you need to understand that change is inevitable. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes bad, but it is guaranteed to happen. Many changes are out of your control. Instead of worrying and fretting over change coming into your life and wreaking havoc, accept that it will appear and stop stressing about it.
If you worry about being lonely, guess what’s going to happen? We often create self-fulfilling prophecies. This means that concerning yourself with loneliness can lead to that reality. The fear of loneliness can also keep you in less than healthy relationships rather than going it alone.
Look, everyone hates failing. Sometimes we adults would rather simply not try because we’re scared of what will happen if we fail. This mindset will always fill you with stress and anxiety, which means less fun and happiness in your life.
Adults are constantly worried about being rejected in relationships and on the job. They don’t attempt new things or reach out to connect with others because they’re uncertain about what’s going to happen. The result could be bad.
Adults fear getting their feelings hurt, especially by loved ones. If they reach out to others for a little fun or just less seriousness, what if they’re judged poorly? They might feel inadequate to those around them.
Finally, adults are often fearful of a loss of freedom. Be careful that this doesn’t lead you into a bad situation. Someone who embraces freedom may avoid getting a steady job, which can lead to financial issues.
If these and other grown-up worries are constantly rolling around in your head, force yourself to take a break. Call your friends for a night out on the town. Take a walk, cycle with your BFF, or watch a funny movie.
Play, laugh, and smile like a child again. Enjoying the present moment without expectations can help remove yourself from these bothersome adult worries that can cause physical and mental stress.
You Probably Have More Free Time Than You Think You Do
By the way, the common excuse that adults don’t have much free time for playing around and goofing off might not be correct. Consider this.
NBC News reported in September of 2021 that the “… sweet spot for free time is about 3 or 3.5 hours per day.”
Life satisfaction was at its highest when people “had in the neighborhood of 2.5 hours of free time a day.”
[American Psychology Association – Having Too Little or Too Much Time Is Linked to Lower Subjective Well-Being – Sharif, Mogilner, Hershfield]
Adults will tell you they don’t have anywhere near that amount of free time. They might agree that they would have a much better life if they could enjoy their hobbies or other playful activities for a few hours each day. As it turns out, most adult Americans have more free time than they think they do (or will admit to having).
As reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), research from doctors Roland Sturm, Ph.D., and Deborah A Cohen, MD, reveals that you might have more leisure time than you realize. Here’s one big takeaway from that study.
- “Americans averaged more than 5 hours of free time per day; no subgroup reported having less than 4.5 hours of free time per day.”
[Sturm R, Cohen, DA – Free Time and Physical Activity among Americans 15 Years or Older: Cross-Sectional Analysis of the American Time Use Survey]
No subset of the data had less than 4.5 hours of free time each day. This means people in their late teen years and twenties, thirties and forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, and older all had a minimum of 4.5 hours of leisure time.
CONCLUSION
Take an honest look at your life. How many 10 or 15 or 20-minute blocks of free time do you have? You don’t have to have fun in large doses. You can fill those small sections of your day with playtime and laughter rather than worry and stress.
We know that engaging in fun and enjoyable activities just for the sake of the activity itself, not for a specific result or achievement, is a great stress reliever. It can also put your life in perspective and help you learn not to take life too seriously all of the time.
It means that adults, including you, probably have a good bit of time to stop and smell the roses.
Prioritize play in your life. You never know when your number will be called, so why not have some fun? You know how good you feel when you laugh and smile. Schedule time for those activities that put a smile on your face. Hang out with that friend that makes you laugh.
Go out of your way to schedule more play and less seriousness. You can live a happier, healthier, and longer life. You can also find a lot more appreciation of your life, yourself, and the people in it.
Here’s to you smiling and laughing more and stressing out less.
August 7, 2025
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